It’s been hard to update as much as I’d have liked to. It’s been a very long day. I have been blessed to be surrounded by amazing family and brothers and sisters in the Lord who have come to visit, pray, and encourage. Emails, phone calls…
In many ways it is so overwhelming. Is this what it has all led to? I do not want to let go of Rich. And that is OK. I can ask the Lord to keep Him here. I know that for Rich to go home to the Lord is much better. Which will the Lord choose for him. We do not yet know. But we do know that God knows what is best for us.
As I look back, I see how so much has led to this day, and this moment. Now, getting the medical care he needed, we are finding out how sick he really has been these past 3 years since we married. How much every day was a day of grace for Rich, especially since the stroke he had in the Spring of 2008. Signs of old strokes in the exams, in areas of the brain that could have effected so much. The problems with his breathing at night, not sleep apnea, but sleep aspiration… detected because he aspirated on the way to the hospital and is now on antibiotics for this. Aspiration that they did not expect… because most people swallow properly when they lay down, but Rich does not…
We learned today that sometimes his pulse goes up when we talk with him. Sometimes, but not always. And just once, his eyes opened wide and wandered from view to view in the room, then back to me. So I explained to him where he was, he looked at the IV bags and I told him what the meds were and why. He coughed against the respirator a little bit, and then he seemed to stretch. I watched his shoulders role and the movement down his arms as he seemed to try to stretch.
It just seemed too deliberate to be involuntary. The doctors say all his eye movement is involuntary. But too much of it comes when we talk to him.
Tonight I read to Rich and myself Romans 8… and take comfort in knowing that Jesus is interceding for us. I do not need words for the prayers of my heart. At the end of the day I want the Lord’s will. And nothing can separate us from His love for us. He knows what is best, and what is best is not always easy.
I wish I had more news for you as to Rich’s status. But we are waiting. Waiting for the Lord to show us the next steps.
So I guess that is tonight’s update. Thank you for your prayers.