Rich remains stable. His breathing seems to be getting shallower, but as long as he receives pain medication regularly, he is comfortable. He has been awake on and off throughout the day, enabling us to encourage him and share. I’ve had some precious time with him reading and singing.

Someone whom I consider a friend wrote to me with a difficult question. I know they would like to remain anonymous, so I am not going to share their name, but I would like to share with you their question and my answer, because I am sure some of you have the same question. And truthfully, so have I.

They wrote to me: “If Rich is still with us in a couple days and is stable, what is God’s plan for him? Is that a sign he’s supposed to recover?”

Here is my reply:

I am not God… all I can share with you is what I was praying about on the way to the hospital this afternoon. I was praying about this same thing, and felt like the Lord was encouraging me to trust Him that He knows what is best. He knows what He is doing. The thoughts crossed my mind, that His purposes are being worked in ways I cannot see. And that He wanted me to encourage Rich to keep His eyes on Jesus, and to remember that He is preparing a place for Him and will take Him to Himself soon. To know that while we cannot see or understand, He is doing HIS good work in us. I shared that with Rich this evening and asked if He believed that and He opened his eyes upward.

Later, I sang him a song that he has always loved. When I sang it he opened his eyes very wide open. When I finished he closed his eyes. I asked if he wanted me to sing the song again. He gave me the Yes sign, and I did, and he fell asleep part way through the song and rested a while. (I’ll put the words at the end of this post.)

I believe, that if Rich is supposed to recover, he will recover, and quickly – not slowly or agonizingly. And as for the purpose of pain in this world… philosophers greater than I have no answer. Who am I? I simply rest in the truth of God’s word. Romans 8 has been a great comfort to me, and I think to Rich. I’ve read it to him a few times and he has opened his eyes in acknowledgment of it. ” For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

With all my heart, I know that Rich’s current suffering is somehow being used by God to do something wonderful in Rich, as Rich prepares his heart to see his savior.

How? Why? When? I cannot answer these questions, only walk through them.

—————–

Here are the words to the song that Rich likes so much. In fact he had me get the accompaniment track because he wanted me to sing it in church sometime. I’ve been singing it to him here with the accompaniment track.

Who am I by Casting Crowns

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am yours..
I am yours..