I won’t bore you with all the details… but my goodness, things seem to be taking on their own momentum.
Today, while I was driving, the engine suddenly just stopped for no seeming reason at all. It seems that the overheating light was supposed to light up and tell me that I had a problem. It didn’t. There was plenty of coolant, but it wasn’t getting into the radiator. Car overheated – blew a head gasket, new water pump, and radiator… oh and to add insult to injury….
I got a letter from the mortgage company that reads: “We regret to inform you that this loan is not eligible for an assumption due to the terms of this loan.” So I asked them what they meant. They said, if you want to stay there, keep paying. And I asked, “Why would I pay on a mortgage that is not mine on a house that is not in my name.” They said, “well, you won’t have to pay, but then we’d foreclose.” So I asked them why I would want to pay a mortgage at 10.6% for the next 30 years – so they said, “well you could refinance.” I said, if the mortgage is not in my name can I refinance?” And they said, “Oh, right – no you can’t do that.”
Oh, and that is only the tip of the iceberg of the frustrating things that happened today… However, God has given me good work to do, if I can just get my head focused and work instead of letting myself get distracted with things like houses, mortgage companies, cars, relationships, and life –
I had a nice chat with my daughter-in-law tonight, and we actually started to laugh together, as we realized, hey, as bad as all this feels right now… God really IS in charge and His word is true, and part of that is ALL things work for good to those who love the Lord.
I am reminded yet again of Job, and his refusal to deny God despite what happened. And Job never did find out why. Another friend encouraged me with something similar a few days ago… I can keep asking why, or be thankful for the three years I had with Rich.
And I am thankful for those three years – very thankful. My brother-in-law actually was the one to remind me that he found comfort at times in the book of Job, back when Rich was in hospital… and you know what? He is right…How much more so now? Someone else reminded me, “Don’t question in the darkness what you knew for certain in the light.”
And then there is my favorite verse from the time I was a child, from Proverbs: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.
I may not know where this path is leading, but I know HE is leading… thank you God, that You are sovereign.
Amen and Amen