Tag-Archive for » death «

How do you learn?

19
Sep
2011
Category: Dvora, Grief  Tags: ,  One Comment

Years ago, there was a group called Second Chapter of Acts. They had a song with some words that gripped me, and still do when I consider the times I’m living in:

How do you learn how to live,
if you’ve never lived before?
…
How do you learn how to die,
if you’ve never died before?

I think sometimes this is the challenge for all of us. We are born, bursting with life and death seems so distant. Yet it is always lurking there, the last enemy, as Scripture puts it.

I sometimes think I’ve barely caught on to the business of living. Dieing, on the other hand, offends. It hits at our very weakest, and reminds how short time is here on earth. And for many it is a comfortless ending.

When I think about my faith in Jesus, I realize that both life and death test to my very core. How DO I learn to get it right in this life? I have come to the conclusion that I can’t, on my own. I need God. I need my Savior to help me, to save me through this life I live, and enable me to get it right, as only HE can enable me.

Death tests me in a different way. All of the losses, great and small, are precursors to my own demise… and there is my difficulty. Please don’t laugh, but I’m not completely convinced that I will die! I’m not talking about denial. Truthfully, physical death is inevitable. But, if Jesus takes me via the rapture first, then I won’t die. And as I look at the times in which I live, and reread scripture, Daniel, Ezekiel, Zechariah, Matthew, 1&2 Thessalonians, Revelation, it is clear to me that the season is near. We are approaching momentous events. The times ARE changing. Even people who don’t believe like I do are talking about the world situation, and a possible “end of the world” as we know it. The end IS near…

But near is not here. Not yet. And so, physical death challenges me. As long as I am alive in this body, I will hate to see the suffering that dear friends go through. I will miss those who have gone on before me, and I pray that I will be a light, pointing to my savior, because we ALL need a savior, and without Him, we are already dead in our sins.

I suppose I’m rambling, but these are my thoughts these days, burdened for those who do not know or want to know Jesus, grieving for dear ones suffering, and yet, rejoicing, because God remains God, faithful and true, and I am so thankful that the God of creation, the God of the universe, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God who gave of Himself through Jesus to save us, if we’d just believe… This God, is my God.

In Memory of Evelyn Gray…

03
Sep
2011
Category: Dvora, Grief  Tags: , , ,  2 Comments

I just received an email that a precious friend and saint has died. I tried to find her obituary on the Internet, but maybe it’s too soon, as she only died a couple days ago. One of her friends remembered me and thought to let me know. I’m glad. My friend, Evenly Grey, only had a few nieces and nephews and I don’t think they would have known much about our friendship.

Evelyn was 20 years older than me, or so. I first got to know her through my mother. In fact, she was one of the few people I still had contact with who knew my Mom before they knew me! We became friends and she was an amazing encouragement to me over the years, sharing with me her struggles, victories, and faith in her Lord and Savior Jesus.

When I drove out to Colorado in November of 2010, following Rich’s death, I drove out to Minnesota to visit her. We had a wonderful time of fellowship and she was so excited to hear what God was doing in my life, and sharing some things she was working on… writing, encouraging others, and increasing in her love for Jesus and her burden for those who did not know him.

During my last visit to Michigan, before I returned to Israel, I thought I had lost contact with her and was so very upset. But a letter was forwarded to me and I was able to get a phone number and write as well as call her before I left. We had a nice time sharing… but she sounded a lot weaker than before. However she insisted she was quite well and happy in her new assisted living apartment.

I will miss Evelyn’s letters, talking with her, and her encouragement and prayers. And in missing her, I realize how very much I miss so many others who have gone on before me:
My parents: whom I should probably write about separately sometime, but from whom I learned and still learn much from gleaned memories.
Hugette; a dear lady who taught me a lot about growing old and staying faithful.
Bevin; a dear brother who taught me about patience, and reminded me that we must always battle sin, to the end
Heidi: A precious older lady who taught me about learning to let go of regrets and move on to what the Lord has for us, even when not what we wanted
Rich, my husband, whom I seem to miss more as the days go on.
And Judy, another precious friend whom I also miss more and more…

And as I lift my tears up to the Lord, I am so very thankful that someday death will be fully defeated, and we shall see the Lord face to face, and I will see all those who have gone before me, and we will be with our precious Savior forever.

Home at Last

16
Aug
2010
Category: Rich  Tags: ,  10 Comments

It was a long and arduous journey. Like any climb up a mountain, the last hours seem to be the hardest.

The path to the peak is always the steepest. But Rich kept climbing. He ran out of breath how many times? But he kept on climbing. At that point, no amount of oxygen or medication could make the climb easier. The climb was hard, just plain hard.

It was not easy, not easy for him to climb, nor easy for us to watch him climb. No one teaches us how to die.

But as the last breathes came, his face settled into that calm that only is achieved at the mountain peak, and he slipped out of sight as clouds hid him from our view.

Now Rich is on the mountain peak with his Savior in full bold Son light – no more pain… no more weakness… no more regrets and struggles for how he could have done it better. He did it well. He finished his race as a climb up a seemingly insurmountable mountain. And now the crown of glory is his as he at last joins those thousand tongues singing praises to his friend, his brother, his king, and his Lord.

At 2:55 am I said “L’hitraot” (see you later) to my husband, brother, friend, and companion. I know I will see him again. But I will always miss him.

I am so thankful that God let him have his eyes to communicate with us – with me. Tonight, before the end came, as I shared earlier, I got to sing to him, and see in his eyes how much it meant to him. Precious moments no one can take away from me, and which will have to be enough until we are reunited with our Lord.

Thank you all for your prayers for Rich, me, and our family. Please keep us in your prayers. For me, the most difficult part of this journey now begins – but underneath are the everlasting arms. I weep, but not without hope.