Today was a quite day. Had a slow start. Was expecting Layla and Jon around noon, but a call from them in the morning. Due to a series of Unfortunate Events (watch the movie it’s a hoot), their plane was overbooked and they will only be landing tonight around midnight. But Rich will still enjoy seeing them, albeit a day late.

Rich was very alert when I got to the hospital. So we had a nice morning/afternoon. I shared memories of our wedding, read to him, and brought my guitar and sang to him. He seemed to enjoy it. We got a call from some friends in Israel. Rich slept in the afternoon. I was going to make some business calls and try to work, but laid on the sofa in his room for a few minutes and promptly fell asleep – woke up two hours later. A friend from church visited and gave us an anniversary card and a sweet stuffed cat for Rich – to keep him company since Guay cat cannot visit…

Some people from speech therapy visited and did an initial evaluation. Apparently, “Speech” Therapy would be better called “Communication” Therapy. They were there to work with him on how to communicate. They felt the first step is what we are already doing, but need to do more intensively – get him to work on a clear yes (eyes up) and no (eyes down) when trying to communicate. We will also make a sheet with most frequent questions about his needs, so that we can try to jump start when he needs something, and pinpoint it quickly.

So now I’m home. I was going to try to do some work, but find myself totally exhausted, so will take a nap before picking up Jon and Layla at the airport tonight.

Please pray for me to figure out how to best balance my day to meet Rich’s needs, and be able to get back into the swing of working. I’ve missed two weeks of work so far, and really can’t miss more. My clients are all willing to wait, but obviously, mundane things like groceries and bills don’t wait. I’ve tried working at the hospital – but their internet connection is not that great, my modem does not work well there, and it is hard to concentrate – too many interruptions, and if Rich is awake, I feel bad not being able to at least sit by his side where he can see and know he is not alone.

Rich, me, and the whole family (the kids and his brothers and sister) all need strength at this time. Rich’s stroke has impacted all of us in so many different ways. Each person is dealing with it differently – one thing we all have in common though – it is very hard to see Rich like this. We see in his eyes how much he wants to communicate and how “locked in” he is. All we can do is keep showing him how much we love him, and do as best we can to communicate and help him express himself. It’s not easy.

I find myself recalling the words to this hymn:

1. In times like these you need a Savior
In times like these you need an anchor
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock

Refrain
This Rock is Jesus, Yes He’s the One
This Rock is Jesus, the only One
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock

2.
In times like these you need the Bible
In times like these O be not idle
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock

3.
In times like these I have a Savior
In times like these I have an anchor
I’m very sure, I’m very sure
My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock

Here is the story behind the song – so appropriate.

During the fearful days at the height of World War II, this comforting hymn was written.

In the midst of a busy day as a housewife, Ruth Caye Jones felt a direct inspiration from the Holy Spirit. She stopped her work to quickly put down both words and music,  just as they were given to her by God.

Since that day the hymn has been a blessing to countless Christians at special times of need. It has brought comfort during illness, has been used widely at funerals, has encouraged and challenged Christian workers, and has drawn many to salvation.

Mrs. Jones experienced for herself the consolation the words of the song could bring as she spent time recovering form serious surgery a few years after it was written.

–Kenneth W. Osbeck (http://www.tanbible.com/tol_sng/intimeslikethese.htm)

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I am so thankful for my solid rock – Jesus – Yeshua HaMashiah

Well, yesterday it hit 90 degrees F for the first time this summer. Last summer it barely got into the 80s… so I finally am starting to warm up.

There is much to be thankful for. Some good contracts helping to make ends meet, Rich’s official nomination by the Libertarian Party of Michigan to run for the 2nd Congressional district – elections in November.

I had a blessed visit with my maid of honor at the end of April, and attended a national technical writers conference in May. Been fighting a bad cold since I got back though, finally starting to feel a lot better.

I find what is going on here in the US quite disconcerting. It seems that there is none so blind as those who will not see. Some things trickle in via the news, others, you just have to research and look to figure it all out. Our government has gone mad. Saw a recent news article about an autistic young man who could not receive medical treatment because – he was autistic. Unbelievable!

But the news in other nations is not much better. After a relative period of freedom, the communist government in China is starting to take a harsher stance towards Christians again. In fact, the US is currently considering approving an international rights of children treaty which, if signed, would consider teaching our children to believe in Jesus as a crime of indoctrination that deprives children of their rights!

I should not be surprised. These are all symptoms of the foolishness of this world as it seeks to totally deny God. Yet it is GOD who provides the very air we breathe. Every time the weather refuses to obey the mandates of man, we have proof that we cannot control our world. Those who claim they do not believe in God are threatened by the mute testimony of God’s existence. Otherwise, why try to legislate what we can and cannot teach? Odd how I, as a believer in God have never once tried to force anyone to believe in God, yet political correctness and anti-hate speech tries to legislate what I can and cannot say.

I cannot say homosexuality is a sin. It offends the homosexual.

They don’t want me to talk about creation. It is unscientific.

Yet our world is caught up in the insane worship of climate change, global warming, and offending no one for the sake of making everyone happy.

Many years ago, I remember realizing as I read the book of Revelation that for those things to happen, it would require a dumbed down society of people refusing or unable to think for themselves. I never dreamed I would see that society happening in my lifetime. Yet everyday I watch new things happening in the news and around us in our society, in the US and globally. People are shirking their responsibilities and want the government to completely support them. We have never been closer to a totalitarian society here in the US, than now.

When I watch how crowds respond to our President, my mind flashes back to reruns from Hitler’s Germany. Does no one see it? If I think about these things too much, I can feel quite hopeless.

But then I remember. Jesus IS Lord. He remains on the throne. God has made known the end from the beginning exactly for this purpose, that we NOT give up hope. And perhaps that answers the question as to why the Book of Revelation is so important to believers. Forgetting all the theological arguments, pre-Trib, mid-Trib, post-Trib, millenium or not – the real message is this:

GOD WINS!

You cannot legislate divinity. As the old hymn goes, “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus and HIS righteousness.”

So let my hope be challenged. There are struggles and they will continue. They most likely will get even more difficult. I will have up and down days, as my body and emotions react to aging and the times. But I’ve read the end of the book. And I am so thankful that the day is coming when I will see God’s victory, final and complete over this sinful and fallen world, and He will indeed make all things new, including me! Amen and Amen.

When I first set out to write this blog, I had the high ambition of trying to write something every day, focussing on the reason for my hope. Little did I guess that such ambitions come with a price…

I forgot about little things like distractions, not feeling like writing something, or wondering what to write when, at that particular moment in time, I was feeling quite hopeless.

I remember once, one of my Chinese students told me how happy I always seemed. We had a long talk about the difference between happiness and joy. I told them that I was not always happy–but that there was a joy in knowing that God really is in control and loves me, even when I don’t feel it. Hope is like that as well. It is not based on my feelings, and I need to remind myself of that, so how much more others.

If my hope is based on feelings, then I am quite hopeless. For often I feel the pressures of life and this world are a heavy weight trying to smother the breath of life out of me. Often I think I can feel the breath of the little foxes nipping at my heels as I run desperately from their sharp, knawing teeth. Often…

I talked with some friends in Israel today. Their voices sounded like they were in the next room. We had a great talk… basically encouraging each other as we struggle with similar situations. The world and little foxes…

It would be nice if we could see things like Elisha’s servant did. To see with our eyes that there is a very real battle being waged in the heavenlies against all of God’s people, and all who have a part in the fulfillment of His good word. But there is a price for this kind of seeing. We are not told the name of Elisha’s servant in II Kings 6:17, when Elisha prays for God to open his eyes. The servant’s eyes are opened. What an awe-inspiring site.

But Gehazi, Elisha’s prior servant forfeited that privilege. The world and little foxes got in the way. Take the time to reread II Kings 2-6. Gehazi saw a dead child rasied from the dead. He saw Naaman healed of leprosy. But rather than seeing it as opportunity to trust in the God of Israel, he saw it as an opportunity of gain for himself. He thought that he could take for himself the reward that Naaman offered Elisha.

II Kings 5:27 tells us that as a result, Naaman was stricken with leprosy and left the presence of Elisha. He never saw what was really happening. The things of this world got in the way, the little foxes nipped at his heels and he fell. Still, his story is not without hope. In II Kings 8, we get one last glimpse of Gehazi. God has not given up on him. Gehazi is serving “the King”. He is asked to tell the King of all that God did through Elisha.

And as Gehazi was telling the king how [Elisha] had restored the dead to life, behold, the woman whose son he had restored to life appealed to the king for her house and land. And Gehazi said, My lord O king, this is the woman, and this is her son whom Elisha brought back to life. (II Kings 8:5)

The woman is granted her request of the King, and Gehazi is found to be serving the Lord after all.

Sometimes, I fear that I am a little like Gehazi. I want to serve God, but… o those horrid buts… o those hope-filled buts…

But God… and that is what, in the end, I must learn to rely on. The one true God. He is my hope, and He is my salvation. Perhaps this too is what Gehazi learned, albeit the hard way. He had to leave Elisha’s service, but God was not through with him. May the story of Gehazi bring hope, when we think we have failed our great God. God does not give up on us so easily.  He does discipline us, but for our good.

When I look at the challenges I and others face, there is so much going on. I must learn to resist sin and I must see that there is a battle waged against us. But I must also understand that God allows much of what is happening for my best good as well as His glory. To purify and refine me. To change and mold me.

I find hope in these truths…

Well, the word is in about the most recent position I applied for – I am over qualified and they are not interested in me.
It is really weird, ever since I have started this site, I feel like my hope has been challenged more deeply than ever before.
It is as though, by saying, this is a site to give Hope to the Hope Challenged, all stops are pulled against me to destroy that hope.
I only know one thing. Either God is in control or He is not in control. There is no half way with God. At times like this, I wonder how Peter felt when the taxes came due and he told Jesus about it. Jesus told him to go fishing….
I wrote a poem about that some time ago.

Taxes and Fish

Lord, the taxes are due.
Go fishing Peter.

Fishing?
How can I go and enjoy
what I was trained to do?
How can I go and bask in wind and sun
cast my hook and wait for the catch…
Lord, the taxes are due
now.

Go fishing Peter.

I wonder how many times
the coin has been waiting
in the fish’s mouth
and I would not?

(April 5, 1994)

Perhaps for me, fishing is working on this blog and working on my professional site. I only know one thing… the same Lord who provided for Peter has and will provide for me and our family. I will not trust in agencies, the job situation, or advertisements…. my hope is in the Lord who made the heavens and the earth.
He knows.