Well the good news my thyroid has improved. However, the doctor wasn’t too thrilled with some other things and so I am scheduled for a cardiac stress test next week. I’m also now wearing elastic stockings – which have helped my legs feel a LOT better… months of swelling in the legs when I sit, yesterday was the first day I sat all day and did work and stuff, and my legs did not swell up. Elastic stockings are wonderful! And not nearly as ugly as they were in my grandmother’s day.

So now, I am trying to get my work commitments fulfilled and pack up my stuff. Lord willing, I plan on going to stay with friends, Layla and John, for a while, until all things are clear and I know what I’m doing and where I’ll be living. Am hoping to get there before the first major snow – I really don’t want to drive in the snow.

Through this all, God has been so good in meeting my needs and gently helping to point me in the right direction. I catch myself thinking, “I’m too old to start all over…” but I guess HE does not agree. Everyone here thinks I look quite young, so hopefully, starting over will keep me young! (At least in Spirit).

My devotionals had the same theme this morning:

I delight to do thy will, O my God; yea thy law is within my heart. Ps 40:8

and

Lo, I am come to do Thy will O God. Heb. 10:7

From A Lamp Unto My Feet by Elisabeth Elliot (1984)

…If you want to be a Christian, see that your mind is made up as His was: Be humble, be subject, be obedient, even to death. It will mean death. Be sure of that. Death to some of your desires and plans at least. Death to yourself. But never forget-Jesus’ death was what opened the way for His own exaltation and our everlasting life. Our death to selfishness is the shining gateway into the glories of the palace of the King. Is it so hard to be His subject? Is the price to high?

My answer to those last questions; is it so hard to be His subject? From my perspective, at times it is. But no, the price is not too high. Because He made me and knows me better than I know myself, and He died for me to save me from my sins (which are so many…).

I do not understand everything, but I remember so often the time that Jesus taught and people started to leave. They said that His teachings were too hard. Jesus turned to the disciples and said, “Will you too leave me?”

Peter spoke for them all (as usual). “Lord where else can we go? You alone have the Words of life.”

And so, I will continue to cling to my Lord and Savior, knowing that He does all things well.

Monday I went apple picking with my youngest daughter and one of her friends. What fun! I’d never been apple picking before, and haven’t really been getting out much, between work and other things. So it was a really nice day. Never knew apples could taste so different from each other. When we were done, she took some apples to make pie, applesauce and other stuff with, and I took apples to make some home-made apple butter with, and we agreed to trade some.

I think a good time was had by all.

That evening, both girls dropped by and gave me apple pie, applesauce, apple crumble, and apple muffins. Too yummy! Such wonderful blessings and surprises fill me with hope.

So now I’m trying to make apple butter. It’s been on the stove all day, trying to get it thinned down to an appropriate thickness. I’ve added so much sugar, I think I’ve put my year’s supply in this pot… but then, I know two girls for whom you really can’t have too much sugar, so I’m hopeful the apple butter will come out OK.

Apparently, Michigan is famous for apples. Well, these sure are good ones. But like I said, I never thought there could so many different kinds with so many different flavors. Makes me want to ask my creator how He thought of that – what made Him come up with so many different fruits, and varieties…

So I will think about good apples and good times and let these make me smile, rather than think about my car which had to get a ball joint or something replaced… but it is getting over 30 miles a gallon on the highway…

Hmm, I wonder if Appleoline would be a good Michigan fuel for cars? The apple butter could replace axle grease. (This blogger should NEVER consider becoming a mechanic!)

Yesterday, I went into the basement to get the laundry basket for laundry and discovered a flood in the basement. Rich’s brother came over and was able to determine the problem is with the water heater. We called a plumber – turned out to be a defective part. Fortunately the water heater was still under warranty so I made arrangements to return it today, and pick up a new one. On the bright side, the plumber noted some major problems (like need to redo plumbing in the whole hose) that he felt were not worth fixing – unless I was going to stay in the house (which I’m not).

Well some friends of the family (Luke and Jeff) came over today, well-prepared to do the job. Only I couldn’t get in the truck, it was too high! I had to go get a step stool and cane. Step on the stool, climb into the truck and use the cane to grab the stool and bring it into the truck. We all had a good laugh thinking about how Rich would have laughed at me! What a hoot!

We got to the store, traded in the water heater, no problem. Strapped it securely in the back of the truck (and I saw it strapped quite securely). We began driving back to my house. The truck drove over a bump in the road (no sign warning of bumps in road), the strap snapped, and the water heater literally popped out of the box, and box flew out falling. We still haven’t found the strap… Water heater was still in one piece (on the outside at least). Well, we were all kind of stunned. L and J got out and got the water heater back in the truck, while I thought to myself, “I have some extra, we’ll just buy another one… small enough for just me in the house…”

But , L thought it was worth taking back to his work shed to see if he could fix it.  I was just thankful no one was hurt! Fix it? I had heard that water heaters are “delicate” that is: D E L I C A T E! But I figured he could try… and kept telling him not to worry… stuff happens, it was not his fault, and I could always get another one….

Well, about 30 minutes later L and J returned, installed the water heater, filled it with water, and we waited… and in a very few minutes, less than 30, the water was already warm. Two hours later I could wash the dishes and take a shower. Now YOU explain to me how a water heater could go flying out of a moving truck, land on the road, and after replacing a small socket on top… be still fully functional? I have a feeling a lot of angels worked overtime on that one!

Just me? Yeah, you heard right. At least for now it is official: the girls are staying with friends from church. So now its down to Guay cat and I… without Rich and the girls, this house is way too quiet. I’m glad they haven’t had time to get all the ducks and chickens yet… they give the place a feeling of activity…

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that the bank won’t let me assume the mortgage. So it looks like I’m going to have to look for someplace to live for a while. Seems like so much needs to fall in place for me to get somewhere. Yet all pointers are that I need to find someplace else in slightly better condition to live.

It seems like with the death of my husband, so much else has died with him. Hopes and dreams for a future-with him… And yet, as I read my Bible, and some other old classics by Elisabeth Elliot and others, I am reminded over and over of the complete trustworthiness of God. He has always been, is, and will be sovereign. I am left wondering, “OK, Lord, what do you want me to do next?” For I know, that as Rich and I were saying “I do” three short years ago, the Lord already knew what was going to happen. In His mercy, He did not tell me what was ahead; in His love, I was granted three wonderful years with a very special man.

I am attending a group called “GriefShare” where people who have lost loved ones get together, pray, share, read the Bible and encourage one another. One man there, was married only 6 years before his wife died in an auto accident, leaving him with 2 small boys. Then this morning, as I was rereading some of Elizabeth Elliot’s writings, I was reminded that she was engaged for 5-6 years, and married only two years before her husband Jim was killed by Auca indians. As another friend reminded me a few weeks ago, I can ask “why did we have such a short time together” (a question only to be answered in eternity), or I can be thankful for the three years we had.

Like Elizabeth and the man in GriefShare, I choose to be thankful for what we had.

Today’s devotional (by Elisabeth Elliot) read:

Nothing is Lost

Paul was a man who suffered the loss of everything according to his own claim. Yet any loss he counted pure gain. The key to this transforming of earthly losses into heavenly gains is love. What do we love? If our hearts are set on people  and possessions and position, the loss of those will indeed be irreparable. To the man or woman whose heart is set on Messiah, no loss on Earth can be irreparable. It may shock us for the moment. We may feel hurt, outraged, desolate, helpless. That is our humanity. But the Lord can show us the long view, the incalculable gain in spiritual and eternal terms, if we love Him above all. Everything that belongs to us belongs also to Him. Everything that belongs to Him belongs also to us. What then, can we finally lose? If we lose not Messiah Himself, we have finally lost nothing, for He is our treasure and He has our hearts.

From A Lamp Unto My Feet by Elisabeth Elliot (C)1985

And so, while the surface of things looks far from hopeful, the surface (as with many things) is not a reflection of what is really going on. At breakfast, I was rereading a very old quote from an old book from a conference I attended in college. The speaker was Samuel Kamaleson. He shared something I never forgot and which has become a prayer of my life, prayed often at times like these. I will close with sharing it here for you:

What kind of a God do we serve? Can we trust Him to keep us straight in our commitment? What kind of a commitment is called for tonight? A Yes to end all Noes. If Jesus Christ is God’s Yes to me, then He is my Yes to God tonight. And what am I saying in that Yes? I am saying, “God, if I’m ever tempted to say No, I give you the right to turn me every way but the wrong way. And don’t let me sit on my No. Move me out of it. I trust in you implicitly.

From Declare His Glory Among the Nations edited by David M. Howard, pages 22-23.