Archive for » July, 2010 «

Wedensday Morning

Category: Rich  Tags:  One Comment

They are doing a chest X-ray right now. .Rich has been having trouble with fluid in his lungs all night and a fever of 101.9… we keep praying. I’ve gotten around 4 hours of sleep. Not much else to add right now except that my hope is in the name of the Lord who made the heavens and the earth.

Tuesday night 11:37 pm: Update

Category: Rich  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment

It’s been hard to update as much as I’d have liked to. It’s been a very long day. I have been blessed to be surrounded by amazing family and brothers and sisters in the Lord who have come to visit, pray, and encourage. Emails, phone calls…

In many ways it is so overwhelming. Is this what it has all led to? I do not want to let go of Rich. And that is OK. I can ask the Lord to keep Him here. I know that for Rich to go home to the Lord is much better. Which will the Lord choose for him. We do not yet know. But we do know that God knows what is best for us.

As I look back, I see how so much has led to this day, and this moment. Now, getting the medical care he needed, we are finding out how sick he really has been these past 3 years since we married. How much every day was a day of grace for Rich, especially since the stroke he had in the Spring of 2008. Signs of old strokes in the exams, in areas of the brain that could have effected so much. The problems with his breathing at night, not sleep apnea, but sleep aspiration… detected because he aspirated on the way to the hospital and is now on antibiotics for this. Aspiration that they did not expect… because most people swallow properly when they lay down, but Rich does not…

We learned today that sometimes his pulse goes up when we talk with him. Sometimes, but not always. And just once, his eyes opened wide and wandered from view to view in the room, then back to me. So I explained to him where he was, he looked at the IV bags and I told him what the meds were and why. He coughed against the respirator a little bit, and then he seemed to stretch. I watched his shoulders role and the movement down his arms as he seemed to try to stretch.

It just seemed too deliberate to be involuntary. The doctors say all his eye movement is involuntary. But too much of it comes when we talk to him.

Tonight I read to Rich and myself Romans 8… and take comfort in knowing that Jesus is interceding for us. I do not need words for the prayers of my heart. At the end of the day I want the Lord’s will. And nothing can separate us from His love for us. He knows what is best, and what is best is not always easy.

I wish I had more news for you as to Rich’s status. But we are waiting. Waiting for the Lord to show us the next steps.

So I guess that is tonight’s update. Thank you for your prayers.

A Very Difficult Post

Category: Dvora  6 Comments

It is rather early in the morning. I did get at least 2-3 hours of sleep. Not enough, but too much in a way. For those of you who do not know, my husband was admitted in the hospital yesterday morning for a massive stroke to the lower brain stem. Right now, the doctors and nurses advise that the only thing keeping him  alive is a respirator and medications. Of course, I know there is one other parameter… Rich’s life is in the hands of the God of the universe.

And for that I am eternally grateful.

Rich is not enjoying the tubes or respirator, but the stroke has so effected him that he cannot even fight them. It has been a long night… regrets? Not enough time with him… wasted time… but longing for the day when our last great enemy, death, is defeated.

I am still hoping I won’t be saying goodbye to Rich, but I know that if I do, this goodbye is temporary. I will be writing more later, but I have not been able to write emails to everyone, and I wanted to write something now.

Thank you in advance for your love and prayers. I will keep you posted.

What I Would Like to See in America

We were discussing some political issues on Facebook. I began writing in response to a friend’s comment (which I mostly agreed with). As I was writing my response, I found myself writing things I’ve thought about a lot, but never really written. I don’t know. Perhaps the Dam has finally collapsed and I am going to be able to get back into writing again, writing things that really matter. It’s been a long time… anyway, I thought I’d share these thoughts with you.


I don’t want to see any more Federal funding or administration of anything. I like your list, but I would definitely NOT entrust it to the Federal government, which has a track record of making everything they do more costly and inefficient. What made this country great were individuals, empowered by our Constitution to work to help themselves, their community, and their country.

I like the idea of improving education, but do not believe this can be done by Federal intervention. I would get rid of the Education department and put education back in the hands of parents and the community, which best understands the needs of their children. Since the Founding of the Department of Education, more money has been poured into “education” than ever – yet the level of real learning going on in the schools has decreased.

I am also amazed at our Federal Government’s willingness (either party, Democrat or Republican) to look closely at what has truly worked or failed in other countries, to examine those systems, and then to see, for example, what type of health care changes would BEST meet the needs of the people in our country. Tragically, this is not the case, the health care bill is a disaster waiting to happen.

While I’d like to see many major changes, I believe that our country has gone way off track. I realize now, that this process began a LONG time ago, before my time. It is only recently that I’ve begun to appreciate what my grandmother used to say about Roosevelt. In school we were being taught what a great President he was and how he saved America. My grandmother used to say he was the worst President we ever had, would be the end of America.

When Social Security was instituted, there was no consideration for the future, and no checks and balances to assure its future. Obviously, more people born leads to increased population leads to increased payouts. The system cannot sustain it. Medicaid is failing the people who really need it. More and more people are NOT getting their critical medical needs met. But on the other hand, people are able to sue for the most ridiculous things. Our nation is now driven by godless values and greed.

Morality has become relative. Our politicians make promises and don’t keep them, and the people conveniently forget. I am reminded of the Cultural Revolution in China. Mao said people were not dieing of starvation – and that became the mantra – even though the dead and dieing were in the streets! A friend of mine hid under his sheets at night in a locked bedroom in his HOME, learning English with a forbidden book and a flashlight. That way, if he was caught, his parents and sisters would not be blamed for what he did.

I guess, before anything, I long to see our country drawn to national repentance. National confession of our sin of greed, of self-interest, of pride, of taking God for granted, of not recognizing Jesus as the ONLY way to salvation, of becoming ashamed of the truth, and of indifference. That is first. (Other could believe differently, because God does not force Himself on anyone – but NO ONE would legislate that I cannot pray before I work, and religious violence of ANY kind would NOT be tolerated)

Second, and also not very likely, I’d like to see an end to the two-party system which has a stranglehold on the country. Fresh blood, new faces, non-politicians in government. I’d like to see REAL Christians seeking righteous legislation. And if they are not Christians, their lives would still be tempered by morality that seeks the common good, not personal gain.

I’d like to see people living in real communities. Communities where we know our neighbors. The ones next door, the ones across the street, and the ones in the market. I’d like to see us genuinely care for each other. When a house burns down, I’d like to see the whole community reach out and help that family, and an old fashioned “barn” raising.

When someone is threatened with homelessness, I’d like to see the whole community work together to do what they can to help them.

I guess, what I’m longing for is the new heaven and the new earth. Nothing here will ever satisfy…

Garden Meditations

Category: Dvora  3 Comments

Our church is growing a vegetable garden this year, to help all the members of the congregation. One of the ladies put together a list of chores, and made a calendar, and we are all contributing time to help it grow. Someone plowed, some of us planted, and over the past few weeks, some weed, some water. Hmm, already sounds Biblical, doesn’t it?

“Or is He speaking altogether for our sake? Yes, for our sake it was written, because the plowman ought to plow in hope, and the thresher to thresh in hope of sharing the crops.” I Cor. 9:10

I get to water the garden every other Friday morning. I’ve seen tomatoes and corn growing, and watched fruit grow on trees, but I’ve never seen green peppers, squash, or cucumber growing. Seeing the garden every two weeks, I’m amazed at its growth.

I remember the first time I came to water. We had planted marigolds around the leafy vegetable plants to keep the rabbits out. I was watering our newly planted garden and out hopped a small bunny, not at all happy about getting wet during his dinner.

Two weeks ago the marigolds had grown. No site of the rabbits, nor of deer nibbling on the edges. I discovered that squash grow out of the flowers. Huge yellow trumpet like flowers seemed to have a mouth from which the squash grew, consuming the flower. I could never have dreamed up that kind of growth. My daughter told me later she did not enjoy eating squash, but squash flowers steamed with a bit of butter is yummy. I thought to myself, “I’d like to try that…but then there will be no squash.”

Now I’ve just returned from the garden. The squash plants are now overgrowing the edges of the garden, with huge leaves like elephant ears splayed in every direction. The green beans are still just blossoms of promise, little purple and white flowers amidst a sea of green. The cucumbers are hiding beneath their leaves, while the green peppers boldly stand out on the stem hanging proud, growing from small to large. The tomato plants tower over them all, with green baby tomatoes drinking greedily of water, eager to grow big and red.

And I wondered about Eden and how wonderful it must have been. We will never know what we lost because of sin. Just as we will never know what we are losing now because of sin in our world and in our lives. Yet God gives us hints of His grace through the wonders of a garden. How does it grow? Where does the fruit come from? How do flowers turn into huge squash? How is it possible for such a tiny seed to produce such huge fruit?

Yet, I am reminded, that is the seed God gives us. A very tiny seed of faith. Faith to trust in Him no matter what. Faith that even when we feel parched and dry, He will water us with His grace. He does forgive us because of the work of Jesus on the cross. And so we are planted in this world to grow in Him.

Jesus promised that He is coming back for us. I know He is, and the day is coming sooner every day. But for now, He has seeds to plant, and is preparing for a crop to harvest.

I am so thankful that I can be a part of our church garden, and I am thankful that I am a part of my Lord’s garden. And I pray He will use me to water His crops, until the time of harvest.